Penny Shepherd shares some tips for how we can plan for our future if we don’t have “someone we trust”.
Much advice on planning for later life assumes we all have family or friends to help us consider our options and act as our lasting power of attorney or executor. For an increasing number of us, that isn’t true.
This article suggests how we can plan for our future if we don’t have “someone we trust”. It is based on research I have done for the national charity Ageing Without Children (AWOC) and conversations with AWOC members. The quotes below are all from AWOC members.
Here are some key things to consider:
- Discussing my options
- Clearing the decks and packing your bag
- Appointing a Lasting Power of Attorney and the alternatives to this
- Appointing an Executor and other considerations around wills and funerals
The issue
We may have no family or suitable friends, or we may have people of our own generation that we can ask to support us in the short term but no-one younger. And we may outlive our peers or they may be unable to help us when they become frail.
If we are wealthy or have a longstanding relationship with a trusted solicitor, that may meet our needs. But many of us feel our assets are not large enough to justify this or just baulk at the cost. In addition, a solicitor may be willing and able to manage our property and finances but not to make decisions about our health and welfare either because they don’t offer that service or just don’t know us well enough.
So what can we do?
Discussing my options
Consider using the free My Future Care Buddy Service to help you to explore your wishes if you don’t have a suitable friend or family member to talk with. Your buddy can help you consider your future care and what you want to happen after your death.
“My buddy was skilful, professional in approach and personable. She helped me think through my options for advance care planning and writing my will, and decide what to prioritise.”
Clearing the decks and packing your bag
It can be wise to prepare your home environment early. This may involve decluttering, downsizing, disposing of things you no longer need or want and streamlining your financial affairs. If you have “heirlooms but no heirs”, selling at auction is one way to transfer them to someone who will value them.
“My great-grandfather was on the Titanic and I am his last living descendant. I sold his naval medals at auction a few years ago, and just kept photographs of them. It wasn’t that I needed the money but rather that I was afraid they would eventually be disposed of by a house clearance company unaware of the Titanic connection. This way, they have gone to someone who knows and values their history.”
The last time we leave our home, we may think we will return shortly. Instead, we may be discharged from hospital to a care home without the chance to gather together our essential papers for someone to manage our affairs or to use after death. It can be wise to prepare a pack of key documents (advance care plans, will, funeral wishes, list of assets, etc.) and store it in a “hospital bag” ready to go with you on your final trip or be easily located by a neighbour or relevant professional. Better ways to do this safely and securely (eg. using an online “information vault”) should become more available over time.
Appointing a Lasting Power of Attorney and the alternatives to this
Others have found the following approach useful if they don’t have a family member or friend to act as their Lasting Power of Attorney and don’t wish to use a solicitor:
1. Write Down Your Wishes and Key Information
Start by recording the information that someone would need to know about you to represent your interests in a discussion about your welfare or manage your property and finances. This includes making an Advance Statement, and making an Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment if you wish. Ask your GP surgery to store copies of your advance statement and any ADRT with your patient records and, if used in your NHS area, to arrange a ReSPECT form that highlights and reflects these and any other relevant information. Record/maintain details of your assets somewhere safe. See the My Future Care Handbook for how to do all of these.
2. Understand Best Interests Decision Making for Health and Welfare
If you lose capacity and don’t have an Attorney for Health and Welfare, professionals will make decisions “in your best interests” taking account of any information known about your values and wishes. For example, the British Medical Association publishes a toolkit for doctors on how to do this. In some circumstances, you may also be entitled to an Independent Advocate to help you to make your wishes known even when you lack the capacity to make a decision yourself. Understanding this process may help you to decide what information to record.
3. Understand Deputies
If you lose capacity and don’t have an Attorney for Property and Financial Affairs, an application will be made to the Court of Protection, often by your local social services department, to appoint a Deputy instead. This is usually a family member or friend (a “Lay Deputy”) if one is willing to play this role. If there is no suitable lay person then a professional is appointed. If you have very few assets, this may be the Local Authority responsible for your social care (a “Public Authority Deputy”). Otherwise, it will usually be a solicitor either identified by you in your planning documents, suggested by family and friends or taken from a panel of suitable professionals maintained by the Office of the Public Guardian (a “Panel Deputy” or “Deputy of Last Resort”). Deputies carry out the same tasks as Attorneys but are supervised by the Office of the Public Guardian and have to report on their activities to it. Deputyship is therefore a more rigorous process but with higher effort and costs involved. Your income and assets are used to meet all the costs including court fees, oversight fees and the charges made by professionals. However, allowable charges are set by the Court of Protection. In contrast, under the “light touch” approach designed for “someone you trust”, there is no independent oversight of fees charged by a professional attorney. Lay Deputies are not permitted to charge for their time but can claim expenses incurred. A Deputy can be appointed only by the Court of Protection after you lose capacity – you cannot do this yourself in advance.
In 2017, the BBC and others reported that former Court of Protection senior judge Denzil Lush recommended that a Deputy appointed by the Court of Protection was a more effective choice than a relative or friend acting under a Lasting Power of Attorney (‘LPA’). The judge said that he would never sign an LPA himself.
The Ageing Without Children webinar recording “Planning for Later Life Without Someone You Trust” gives further details.
Appointing an Executor and other considerations around wills and funerals
Other have found the following useful in considering how to plan for after death:
1. What will happen if I die away from home or without family or friends?
Older people dying alone tend to be identified – even if they collapse in the street far from home. Unidentified bodies are almost always of working age people, according to Dr Emma Tilley, an expert in missing persons. Nevertheless, it makes sense to carry simple id, such as your surname and partial postcode or the telephone number of an emergency contact if you have one. It can also be wise to carry a photograph of yourself to assist police enquiries, she says.
2. Who will arrange my funeral, and will my funeral wishes be acted on?
The local authority where you die is responsible for organising your funeral if there is no one else. They will seek first to find others to do this and establish if your estate can meet the cost. Today, a pre-paid funeral plan from a regulated provider may be the most reliable way to document your funeral wishes as there is no obligation on a local authority to identify your executor or find your will. However, if the details of your executor are easy to find, this increases the chance that they will be asked about your funeral wishes. Local authority responsibilities for locating information may change over time as the current arrangements are arguably not fit for purpose for the growing number of people who can afford the cost of their own funeral but have no-one to organise it.
“Ashes to Admin: Tales from the Caseload of a Council Funeral Officer” by Evie King gives a mainly heart-warming description of local authority funerals for people who die alone.
3. Should I consider a pre-paid funeral plan?
Since 2022, providers of pre-paid funeral plans have been regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority and it is no longer legal for unregulated providers to sell them. There is useful information online that rates and ranks the plans available. “Over 50s Plans” are a different financial product and informed commentators tend not to recommend them as an alternative.
4. Who should I appoint as my executor?
It can be wise to appoint an individual or charity as your executor if you can, even if they will use a solicitor or equivalent when the time comes.
If you are leaving a substantial donation to a charity, it is worth telling it your plans and asking if it will be your executor. This gives it the power to access your will before probate and, if it wishes, get quotes from solicitors and select the best one. Similarly, a trustworthy individual appointed as your executor does not necessarily have to wind up your estate themselves but will be able to get quotes from solicitors and select a suitable one.
If you name a solicitor as executor in your will, they may be more expensive than other options by the time of your death and/or may not act quickly as there is no-one with authority to chase them. And because a will which has not gone through probate is a private document, neither your beneficiaries or anyone else are entitled to know its contents until then or see any accompanying letters of wishes or other advisory instructions.
While it may be prudent to check that your proposed executor is willing to act, there is no obligation to do this. You don’t have to tell someone you have appointed them as your executor or show them your will. Your will is not invalidated if they predecease you or, after your death, lack capacity or refuse to act.
If you have very low assets and do not own a home, you might wish to consider using the Public Trustee as your executor, but this is likely to be the most expensive option otherwise.
5. What else might I consider when writing my will?
It is important to do all that you can to ensure that, after your death, your current will can be found. There are various ways to store your will securely and to register its existence, eg. with the government’s Courts and Tribunals service or in the privately-run National Will Register. It is also important to ensure that your executor can be identified as usually your will can be released only to them.
“I keep my executor’s name and telephone number in a locket that I wear at all times. Others have suggested semi-seriously getting this tattooed on their body.”
Ageing Without Children is developing a webinar “After Death Without Someone you Trust” that will consider these issues. A webinar recording should be online by end 2026.
Increasing numbers of us need to plan for our future without “someone we trust”. Advance care planning materials and support services need to evolve to better meet our needs. Meanwhile, I hope this article gives some useful ideas.
Penny Shepherd MBE is a trustee of Ageing Without Children (registered charity number 1195122) and a steering committee member of Ageing Without Children East Kent but write here in a personal capacity.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on Penny’s personal investigations and opinions and does not necessarily represent the views of any organisation she is associated with. Other or better options may be available. Penny is not legally qualified and none of her comments should be taken as personal or professional advice. Please do your own research.
