We were privileged to host author, council funeral officer and former stand-up comedian, Evie King, at a recent online event for the My Future Care community. 

Evie gave a deeply humane and thought-provoking presentation on the realities of dying without leaving clear information behind, and the lessons this holds for all of us around planning ahead, care and communication.  

Drawing on her experience of arranging funerals for people without family support or financial means, Evie offered a rare insight into the practical and emotional chaos that can follow when someone dies without their wishes, paperwork or personal details properly documented.

Her talk was moving at times, while also using her wit and sharp eye for the absurdities of real-life situations to make conversations about death feel approachable and relatable. Her underlying messages were ultimately about life, relationships and care for the people left behind.

“Death is 90% Admin” 

Evie described death as “90% admin”, reflecting on the hours she has spent tracing next of kin, searching homes for paperwork, identifying accounts, finding wills and trying to piece together the basic facts of someone’s life. In many cases, she explained, she is left trying to reconstruct a person’s identity from scattered possessions, unopened letters or fragments of information gathered from neighbours and care staff. 

She emphasised that the people who end up needing council funerals are not unusual or irresponsible. Often, they are simply ordinary people whose lives became more complicated through illness, bereavement, estrangement, dementia or financial hardship. 

“They’re not tragic outliers,” she explained. “They’ve mostly just had something go wrong that could go wrong to all of us.” 

This perspective shaped much of the talk. Rather than presenting death planning as something only relevant to older people or those with large estates, Evie framed it as an ordinary and necessary part of life.

“Our Wishes Have to Survive Us” 

A key message was that conversations alone are not enough. Wishes need to be written down. 

Throughout her work, Evie repeatedly encounters situations where funeral preferences, care wishes or personal information have been verbally shared but never formally recorded. Once someone becomes seriously ill, develops dementia or loses the ability to communicate, those wishes can easily disappear. 

“Wishes have to survive us,” she said. 

She described cases where body donation plans had been lost during care transitions, where families disagreed about funeral arrangements because nothing had been documented, and where people entered care homes with almost no personal information attached to them at all.

Identity, Dignity and the “Small Things” 

One particularly moving part of the talk focused on identity and dignity in later life and care settings. Evie reflected on how small details, the things that make someone themselves, are often lost when planning has not happened. 

“The small things are so important,” she explained, describing how something as simple as recording how someone likes their tea, what television programmes they enjoy, or the music they love can help preserve personhood when someone becomes non-verbal or seriously ill. 

To help address this, Evie strongly encouraged people to create a centralised “if I die” information pack containing key contacts, wills, funeral wishes, account details, care documents and practical information, all stored in one place. Even incomplete notes, she argued, can make an enormous difference. 

“As long as you’ve written something,” she said, “is a start.”

Why Wills Matter 

The talk also explored the emotional and legal importance of Wills. Evie stressed that Wills are not simply about inheritance, but about who gets to make decisions after death. 

She described difficult real-life cases involving estranged relatives, former partners and blended families, where legal next-of-kin rules placed decision-making power in the hands of people the deceased may not have chosen themselves. For unmarried couples, LGBTQ+ people and people with complicated family dynamics, she stressed the importance of legally naming trusted individuals to avoid conflict and exclusion. 

“Families can actually fall apart during this period if you haven’t put something in place,” she warned.

Talking About Death More Openly 

Alongside these serious themes, the talk also contained warmth, humour and a refreshing openness about death. Evie encouraged people to think more creatively and personally about funerals, challenging the idea that funerals must follow a rigid template. From unconventional music choices to environmentally friendly funeral methods and deeply personal rituals, she argued that funerals should reflect the individuality of the person being remembered. 

Importantly, she also challenged the wider culture of avoidance around death. Rather than seeing death conversations as depressing, she suggested they can actually help people live more intentionally and appreciate life more fully. 

“There’s a lot of life in death,” she reflected, “and affirming stuff in the process of thinking about it.” 

Throughout the webinar, Evie balanced practical advice with compassion and honesty. Her message was clear. Planning ahead is not about being morbid. It is about reducing confusion, protecting dignity, supporting loved ones and making sure that, even at the end of life, people are still recognised as themselves.

We are hugely grateful to Evie King for sharing her time and experience with the My Future Care community. Her talk powerfully reinforced the importance of the work being done by the organisations, staff and volunteers partnering with us to support people in their communities to plan ahead with greater confidence, clarity and dignity. Across care, community and voluntary organisations, these conversations can make a profound difference to how people experience later life, serious illness and bereavement.

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Evie King’s first book, Ashes to Admin, is about her job arranging council funerals. Her second, Get Ahead of Being Dead: Your Handy Planner for the End of Life is coming out in June 2026. She is an ambassador for the missing persons and cold case charity, Locate International, and heads up the UK training programme for council funeral workers.